As a kid, my Mom instilled the belief that you should always say "I love you." She never allowed my sister or I to go to bed in an argument. Don't worry...we never were made to stay up until an ungodly hour, but we were always made to call truce before turning in. Although sometimes begrudgingly, we always made up before we went to bed. Even now I say "I love you" every time I talk to my family and friends...sometimes to the point of being annoying.
I never quite understood just how important this "rule" of my Mom's was when I was young. As an adult, however, I count it among one of the most important life lessons my Mom has imparted onto me.
Now, when I say to say "I love you" every single day, I don't want you to go and tell your boss or your co-worker in the cube next to you how much you love him or her. That would A. Create a rather awkward situation and B. Get you sent to HR fairly quickly. What I mean is that it is so important to tell people how you feel about them. Tell people in your life just how much you appreciate them...tell people in your life how much better your life is because of them...tell them what they mean to you.
Earlier this week, I received the devastating news that my counterpart and more importantly, my very good friend, Sylvia, had passed away. I worked with Sylvia from day one at one of the primary schools I was assigned to during my time in South Africa. Little did I know that my colleague would become my yoga partner, my confidante, my student, my teacher, and my best friend during my two years in Lekgwareng Village. I am not exaggerating when I say that I would have been lost without her. As much as I loved my village and the people in my village, Sylvia was one of the only people (aside from my fellow Peace Corps Volunteers) I truly felt comfortable being myself...American Meg with opinions.
Over the past couple of days, I have been comforted by a few things. Aside from the support of Nick, my family, and Chibby, I have been comforted by the memories I have from my time with Sylvia. The memories are countless...Sylvia trying her first peanut butter banana sandwich (that is all I ever ate for lunch and she was curious about the taste), Sylvia and Maggie practicing yoga with me in my rondavel, Sylvia finishing her first book in English (Tuesdays with Morrie), Sylvia trying to teach see to say majengaladende in Xitsonga (a type of masonja...worm...that I can't even spell), Sylvia and my cross-cultural conversations that went beyond weather, Sylvia and I creating a Scout's Troop in the village. I could go on...More so than anything, I am comforted by the fact that Sylvia knew how much I valued her and our friendship.
Nick and I spent a few days in my village when we traveled to South Africa for our honeymoon. One of those days were spent catching up with Sylvia, her daughter and her niece while eating pap and chicken. She caught me up on the village gossip and we reminisced over projects we had worked on together during my time there. She asked about America and we talked about her plans to build her home...she even showed us the bricks and the land she was going to use. I reminded Sylvia how much she meant to me and I told her that she was my sister (sesi wa mina), no matter how far apart we were. As we parted, I assured her that Nick and I would be back and she made me promise that next time it would be with kids (always a hot topic in South Africa). We hugged good bye and went our separate ways...not thinking it would be the last time I saw her.
I am deeply saddened by the fact that I have lost Sylvia. I am saddened by the fact that Sylvia's daughter no longer has her mother and that Lekgwareng Village has lost one of the hardest working and kindest individuals I have ever had the privilege of meeting. I am saddened that Sylvia's life really was just only starting and ended too quickly. My comfort lies in my memories and in the fact that I saw her so recently and told her, again, how much she meant to me.
My Mom texted me the day I learned of Sylvia's passing, saying "just remember that Sylvia was fortunate to know you." I responded saying, "I was the lucky one to know her." She left a mark on my heart and will never be forgotten.
I ask that you think of Sylvia and her family, especially her daughter and her niece during this difficult time. I also ask that you let the people in your life know what they mean to you. Tell your family and friends you love them...tell your co-workers you appreciate them...tell people thank you. Let people in your life know that you value them. Don't wait for special occasions, because everyday with those you love is a special occasion.
I know I haven't written about our trip quite yet, but just know how grateful I am we chose to travel back to South Africa and spend time with those we love across the world...spend time with Sylvia.
I love you all...I am grateful for each and every one of you.
Meg
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