The Missing Puzzle Piece

This blog post acts as my “thank you” to my Mom, my Dad and my baby sister.  While words will never fully express the extent of my gratitude, a girl’s gotta try.  First of all, Dad thanks for sending the best Christmas presents ever!!  You gave up Christmas with them for me, and made me the happiest person in the world.  You’re truly the best and are truly selfless.  Secondly, Mom thanks for flying over to see me.  I know it wasn’t in the original plans, but to be honest I don’t know if either of us could have gone much longer, yet alone another day, without seeing each other.  Thanks for spoiling us while you were here.  Luckily I didn’t get too many “you look fat” comments upon returning to the village, but I felt well treated.  And last, but certainly not least, thank you Erny.  It blows me and everyone I tell away that you saved so much and worked so hard to come and see me.  That was an amazing gift in itself.  You’ve grown so much, and I’m so proud of all you do.

As I sit here, writing this blog post, it is hard to believe that this time last month I was out with my Mom and sister most likely sipping on our drink of choice – Amarula coffees – and trying not to pee our pants from laughter.  It seems like a really, really great dream I had, one of those dreams you wish you wouldn’t wake up from.  I know many of you have heard how the trip went from my Mom and Erin, but then there are some of you have not, so I’ll be sure to fill you in.  This blog post will be a special one (and a longer one).  I’ve had my Mom and sister write their own thoughts and impressions on the trip to spice things up a bit.  Thought it’d be something different, something fun.  Also, I can’t hog the entire spotlight.  When I say that their 3 weeks here was the perfect vacation, I am not exaggerating.

Puzzles have always been daunting to me.  Heck, some puzzles have 1000+ pieces.  They always take such a long time to put together.  First, you must find the corner and side pieces.  Then you must fill in the middle, being sure to group similar colors together and referring to the cover photo to help you.  I’ve never had much patience for puzzles.  That is, until coming into the Peace Corps, more specifically Peace Corps South Africa.  After 19 months, I now have enough patience to sit on a non-moving taxi hours on end, waiting for it to fill.  I now have enough patience for my learners to painstakingly draw a table into their notebooks, making sure every line is perfect, make shifting just about anything into a ruler.  Heck, I now even have enough patience to stand in line at the post office in 100+ degree weather just to see if I have a package, no guarantees (I guess the fact that the post office is air conditioned helps).  South Africa has instilled patience in me, and for that I am thankful.  Sometimes good things take time, for all of the pieces to come together.  I’ve come to realize that no matter how intricate the puzzle, no matter how much time and effort it may take, the end result is always something incredibly beautiful.  The pieces were meant to come together, meant to intertwine. 

I’d like to think of my Peace Corps service as one big puzzle (unfortunately, no cover photo to refer to included), comprised of many different puzzle pieces.  My puzzle pieces include that of my village; my two schools each making their own separate and unique piece; my host family, and my relationship with each member making its own piece; my friends in the village; my counterparts; my colleagues; my learners; my incredible boyfriend and best friend, Nick; my Peace Corps family (SA24 and the other SA classes); my Peace Corps friends, who I know to be lifelong friends; my work with the Peace Corps; my different projects, also all making a separate piece; Jack, the dog who runs with me.  The list goes on.  Despite all of these pieces, and with my time winding down, I still felt as though a few integral pieces to my “Peace Corps” puzzle were missing.  That is, until my Mom and sister visited. 

It may sound lame so forgive me, but when I met my Mom and sister at O.R. Tambo and hugged them for the first time after a long separation of over 17 months, I felt complete again.  I had my own puzzle pieces; my heart finally felt full again.  We have always fit together.  The 3 Musketeers were back together at last.  Prior to their arrival, I’ll be honest that I was a bit nervous.  Had I changed?  Had they changed?  Would our relationships have changed after so much time?  My fears were soon set to the side.  As we sat in Mugg & Bean all craving coffee and muffins, I realized it was as though not a day had passed since seeing them.  Sure Erin’s hair was longer and sure Pammycakes was looking like even more of a beast with all of her running, but what we were as a threesome hadn’t changed a bit.  There was so much to say, and our lips moved a million miles a minute.  I think I can speak for all of us when I say that we were relieved. 

Our first stop on our trip was Johannesburg/Pretoria, where my Mom and Erin were finally able to meet my second family (my family away from home) – Sue, Eddie, and Porsche.  We grabbed a quick bite to eat prior to every restaurant closing down (it was Christmas Eve).  Then, Sue was kind enough to give us a tour of the hospital where she works, introducing us to all of her babies.  Erin was in heaven, being a nursing student, and I was thankful that I had chosen teaching as a profession.  Afterwards, we headed to our backpackers.  I was able to show them Pretoria, where many of our trainings take place.  I loved being in the backpackers as it was fun to show them how PCV’s travel!

The next morning (now Christmas Day) Erin and I woke up early to run.  It was so nice to be back with one of my favorite running buddies.  Once we were showered and filled with coffee (obviously a must), we set off for my village.  Again, I was nervous about this day.  My two very different worlds were about to come together.  Sure I had integrated into my village and sure I had gotten used to the many stares, the pungent smells of my pit latrine, and my homey yet rather ghetto rondavel, but I wondered how would my Mom and sister react?  How would they cope with it all?  Upon pulling into my host family’s compound, and seeing my Mom hug Maggie, my host mom, I realized that I could, and needed to breath.  Everything would be a’ok.  In the end, I’m so glad they were able to see the village, my home for 2 years.  It was so amazing for them to meet everyone I love here, everyone who takes care of me here.  It was also wonderful for everyone here to meet two of the most important people in my life.  Although our Christmas dinner wasn’t anything special – peanut butter banana sandwiches, pasta, and wine – it was definitely one of the best Christmases I’ve ever had.  Their glimpse into my life here will help them to understand both the treasures and the challenges of my service, hopefully making my transition back home that much easier.

Following our stop in the village, it was off to Kruger National Park.  I had gone back in June with Nick’s family, so I knew this time around that it was NOT a good idea to get out of the car when lions were around…woops!  We drove around the park ourselves for a little while, but Pammycakes really wanted to take a safari, so we booked an evening safari, and boy am I glad we did!  We were all a bit anxious to see the Big 5…at first Mom thought that a termite mound was a lion and Erin mistook a bush for a lion cub.  Eventually though, we saw some real animals: water buffalo, hippos, rhinos, springbok, some pretty spectacular lizards, and giraffes.  The most exciting part of the safari had to be the lions.  We saw a male lion and about a dozen lionesses.  The lionesses came right over to our jeep!!  Erin and I were scared stiff as my Mom hung out of the window trying to get the best pictures.  We had to remind her that these things do not mess around!!  On our way back to the entrance we saw some beautiful owls, a cheetah, and even had some beetles hop onto our jeep.

While I loved spending time with my Mom and Erin in Joburg, Pretoria, my village, and Kruger, the next part of the trip was what I was really looking forward to for myself: Cape Town!  I had not been during my time in South Africa, and I had heard only great things about the city from anyone who had gone.  Apparently, it was the Europe of Africa, a must see.  I was ready to board the plane and check this place out for myself!  I was not disappointed.  Cape Town was amazing for so many reasons.  First of all, the running weather and scenery was ideal (yay for Two Oceans in March!!).  It was like a backdrop to a movie.  If I lived there, I’d probably run four times a day if at all possible.  Erin and I loved it.  I think more than anything, though, my favorite part of Cape Town was that Nick would be spending 5 days with us – my three favorite people all together.  I had to pinch myself!  It was incredible having my Mom and sister meet Nick and vice versa.  It wasn’t a surprise to me that they all got along so well, which made me unbelievably happy.  Among the other highlights in Cape Town included hiking up Table Mountain (it was Pammycakes’ first hike!!  Yay!!), New Year’s Eve on Long Street with my family, Nick, and my Peace Corps family (it was crazy – the streets were full of people and it was Mardi Gras theme), going to the Waterfront for dinner and drinks (such a nice atmosphere), going to Simon’s Town and seeing the penguins, visiting the gorgeous beaches, and of course going to Robben Island where my Mom and Erin met more of my Peace Corps family.  Note – do NOT take Dramamine if you are prone to sleepiness.  I’m pretty sure I fell asleep standing up, and sadly do not remember much of the tour.  I would have preferred to have felt sea sick. Chibby, if you’re reading this, think back to Assateague Island.  Struggle.  Still, I was glad to have gone where Nelson Mandela spent many of his years, fighting for what he believed in.

Next on the agenda: wine and cheese!  We first went to Stellenbosch, which is famous for its wineries and vineyards.  Pammycakes was in her glory, and Erin and I were pretty excited as well (I prefer beer, but I’ll never turn down a good glass of wine).  After the effects of the Dramamine had finally worn off, we were booked for our first wine tour with our knowledgeable tour guide, Neil.  If you haven’t been on a wine tour, I definitely recommend it.  Our tour included visits to four wineries (some old, some new), a full rundown of how wine is made and stored, as well as the aging process, a gourmet lunch with, and you guessed it, wine, and cheese tastings!  After four different wineries (this is the maximum for wine tours) we were all ready to get home.  I understand why you don’t visit more than four wineries – wine really knocks you off your feet.  Kind of like Dramamine…While we were in Stellenbosch, we also made a short trek to Franschhoek, not too far from where we were staying.  This was one of my favorite places that we went to on our trip.  We had a chocolate tour and a chocolate tasting in the morning (maybe this is why it was my favorite), shopped until our feet ached (literally as I was practicing wearing heels), and had a lovely late lunch.

At this point in time, the trip seemed like it was playing in fast forward.  I wanted to press pause and rewind.  We were on our way back to the beautiful Cape Town for just a few more days together.   We stayed in a lovely B&B (where Pammycakes decided we’d only ever do B&B’s in the future which I am totally on board with), went to the beaches again, shopped, ate, and soaked up our time together.  The farewell was definitely not as fun as the reunion.  Rather than tears of joy we had tears of sadness.  I’ve decided that hellos are always nicer than goodbyes.  However, I was so glad they had come.  Also, it helped knowing that rather than 17 months it would be a mere 8 before coming back together again, this time for good.  Warning for everyone I love – you’ll have me attached to your hip when I’m home.  Be excited!!

This trip was so special and necessary in many ways.  First of all, it helped me to reflect on how I’m doing here, seeing things through my Mom’s and sister’s eyes.  Both of them realized that this had been the right move for me, which I was happy to hear.  In addition, it made me excited to get home.  I had been starting to worry about how it would be to transition back home (I’ve always heard going home is the harder transition of the two), worrying that my time here had changed how I looked at things or my values.  Sure I have changed, and sure I appreciate what I have so much more, but I’ll have loved ones by my side helping me to transition back to my life in the US of A.  I finally understood the true meaning of “home is where the heart is.”  I felt more at home in South Africa with my Mom and sister here than I ever had before.   Their trip got me back to site, feeling re-energized and ready to make the best of my final stretch in the Peace Corps.

My Mom and sister’s visit added a very big and important piece to my Peace Corps puzzle (while accomplishing one of the 3 Peace Corps goals), and while my puzzle is not quite finished, it is looking really nice and more complete by the day.  I still have a few big projects I am working on (the Books for Africa library project, Scouts/a Scouts Camp, and Grassroot Soccer) that will add some pieces to the puzzle.  I also still have to run (and not die in the process!) the Two Oceans Marathon and the Comrades Marathon, some more personal pieces to my puzzle.  It’s not the final product just yet, and while at times I felt like throwing in the towel, I’m glad to have worked hard and kept with it because the final product and all that has been accomplished is so worth it.  Who knows, maybe I’ll take up puzzling (my verb for making puzzles) as a hobby when I get home with my new found patience and appreciation for puzzles…

Now for reflections from Erin and my Mom on our trip:

Erin –

Before leaving for South Africa, I had no idea what to expect aside from what Meg had told me.  When people tell you things, you try to picture in your head an image of the description, but it is always skewed from the reality.  Well, I was finally ready to be able to place the stories I’d been told for 17 months. 

Everyone says it’s easy because Meg and I talk every day, and trust me it is, but for one second think about how weird it would be not seeing your sister or your best friend for 2 years.  Now that you have, you know how excited I was to see her, and when I finally did, it was as if we had never been apart.  Most people who know us know that our relationship is rare as sisters for how close we are, and I never thought we’d get closer, but this trip proved the impossible in many ways.

I don’t know how to even describe how amazing this trip was when people ask, because it was truly “the trip of a lifetime.”  It doesn’t matter where you travel no matter how amazing; the biggest piece is who you are with.  Well, I was with the best people ever!  My favorite thing about the whole trip was knowing that Meg hadn’t changed a bit, and that she was really in love.  To answer everyone’s question, Nick is a great guy and he makes Meg happier than ever!  Meg has impacted so many lives and I could tell this from just one day in her village.  These next 8 months will be weird without you Meg, but they will fly by and you’re going to continue to make differences in people’s lives every day!

A few highlights of the trip: going to Meghan’s village and eating peanut butter and banana sandwiches on Christmas, the safari with Pammycakes wanting to get out with the lions while I was petrified, climbing Table Mountain, almost being mugged in Cape Town, and the long runs with my running buddy by my side!

Pammycakes –

Italy, England, and Napa Valley are on my bucket list.  I have been to England and Napa Valley, so Italy is at the top of my list.  South Africa, however, was never on my bucket list.  When Meghan first approached us about the Peace Corps and mentioned South Africa, I was worried.  We did not know a lot about the country, in fact very little, and it was so far away!  After her acceptance letter came most of my friends said, “When are you going to visit her?”  My reply was always the same: “I am not going to visit.”  The cost of the trip, the distance, and just the thought of traveling to South Africa was not in the plans.

The quote is “a picture is worth a thousand words.”  I realized after returning from South Africa that yes, a picture is worth a thousand words, but being there is worth a million!  Meghan text messages almost every day with some family member.  We heard, in the 17 months before seeing her again, about her rondavel (African-style hut), her host family, the schools where she teaches, fat cakes, how she bucket bathes, her pit latrine, and her 4 legged running companion, Jack.  I also never would have imagined that I would say, South Africa is a beautiful place and I would go back if I could!

The rondavel, where Meghan lives had more room than I had expected and was very close to the host family’s house.  The pit latrine was just as I expected and they added a door for her after she arrived instead of just the tattered curtain.  Unfortunately the school gates were locked while we were there, but we still had a beautiful view of the world map that we had heard reports of over the past few months.  It was gorgeous!  Soon after Meghan arrived in South Africa, she spoke about one of her favorite foods: fat cakes.  I imagined them like a funnel cake or a sugary glazed donut.  Meghan was so excited as she stopped and bought 4 of them for Erin and me to share.  Unfortunately they did not taste as I had expected.  I found them to be simply bland balls of dough.  Oh well, more for Meghan and Erin!

Meghan taught us the process of bucket bathing and washing her dishes outside and leaving them to dry on the stone wall.  I suggested that she at least rinse the soap bubbles off.  We met the dog across the road, Jack who runs with her for miles on end and for that I am happy as I see him as her faithful protector.  Meg’s host mother and father, Maggie and Daniel were so nice and I held back tears as I hugged Maggie good-bye.  If only she knew what we owe her for stepping in as Mom for all these months.

There are so many moments of the trip that stand out, but I came home with a few “ah-ha” thoughts.  For one thing, I was able to successfully drive on the left side of the road on the opposite side of the car.  Erin had to shout “left Mom, left!” a few times but we did it.  The people everywhere were extremely friendly.  The country is so diverse from Johannesburg, to Cape Town, to Stellenbosch and Franschhoek.  We listened to people speak Afrikaans in Stellenbosch and Sepedi in Limpopo.  Climbing Table Mountain was a bit tenuous at times but the view from the top was breathtaking!  Our trip to Robben Island was memorable where Nelson Mandela spent 18 of the 27 years he was behind bars as a political prisoner.

Of all the sites and places we saw, nothing could have topped what I witnessed while we were in Meg’s village on Christmas Day.  There was not a single thing in sight that would have told me it was Christmas Day.  I suppose I imagined there may have been a tree, or wreath, or angel.  We took a walk to the house next door where a group of women (Gogo’s) were gathered under a tree just enjoying the day.  Meghan wanted to introduce us to them and began to speak in Xitsonga and had been speaking Sepedi just a few moments before.  That moment alone was the best present I could have received.  It confirmed to me that her decision to join the Peace Corps and live in South Africa was a good one, and the memories and life lessons learned will go on forever. 

As always, thanks so much for taking the time to read about my adventures!

Le rata,
Meg :)